A perfect day for baseball

It is a beautiful day in Cleveland, Ohio. Perfect weather for a chance to clinch a return to the World Series...wait, what? About a month ago, Major League Baseball declared today an off day. So rather than sitting in the stands tonight in short sleeves watching the best two pitchers in the American League battle it out, tomorrow the Tribe and Sox will try to squeeze the game in between Thunderstorms. Way to go Bud Selig!

I have so much to say, so much to write about. But because I grew up here in Cleveland I have taught myself to self censor. See I can't fully enjoy these types of moments because I don't want to jinx what I want to happen. It isn't like I dwell on the negative but I know how much it hurts when you get ahead of yourself. I learned the hard way on January 4, 1981. That day hurt but the day that really haunts me was when I had to be the bearer of bad news to my little brother. Yes the ball was on the two-yard line , yes we were up by seven points and time was running out. My brother was singing and dancing. I can still see him and I can still hear him. I told him to sit down and shut up. You don't celebrate until the game is over. He blamed that loss on my lack of faith. He still hasn't forgiven me for taking away his innocence. And I am still waiting for that day when it will make everything that went before it not matter.

Those names we assign those days, those names will mean nothing one day, some day. Oh how I long for that day. It is so close I can taste it. And yet because of the past, I have to dance around what I want, what I believe. I can't say the words aloud because of some fear-- irrational or sane-- that I will be the jinx.

So rather than sit in sun-soaked outfield tonight, tomorrow my brother and I will just be getting soaked. And if it goes well, it will be worth it. But this decision decreed to make me wait one more day, I am fighting against seeing as an omen and just accepting it as just another day to wait. I have waited a long time, what is a few more days.