Red Right 88

Cleveland sports fan and sports writer

Location: Cleveland, Ohio, United States

quit my job decided to drive west

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

I hate the other team

Rather than make predictions I will state the obvious-- why we hate every other team in the playoffs...

This is one obvious. They are the friggin' Yankees. They have more trophies than they know what to do with. And their fans are front running jerks. They are so obnoxious. Of course, every team has a few die hard intelligent fans-- but most Yankees fans don't even know who is on the roster besides the big names. They wear Yankee caps so they can have a free pass to act like assfaces. The best part about being a Yankee fan is even when they lose- the vast majority are so uninvested, they get in over it in about two beers. But if they win, they can do shots all night and mock everyone else.

Red Sox
I hated the Red Sox before simply because of the false suffering of their fans. Yes, they waited a long time but they still got Bill Russell, Larry Bird and Tom Brady. But win one title and boom they start acting like Yankee fans. Sure most of that is the bandwagon fans who used to root for the Yankees every October. Real Red Sox fans are actually really intelligent. They know stats and players from other teams. If you go to a Yankee blog, you will see comments like "Yanks will sweep because the Indians suck." On the Red Sox blog, they will quote stats and even know how to spell Asdrubal. But still intelligence aside, the Red Sox team is now the Yankees. Big names, big salaries. Annoying media.

Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. Do I need to go on? You can't cheer for Los Angeles even people from Los Angeles don't cheer for the Angels. Most of all, the Angels are a National League team playing in the American league and well that is just un-American.

One strike is again false suffering. It it isn't like every Cub fan isn't a Bull fan. Michael Jeffery Jordan makes up for all 99 years. The biggest difference between the Cubs and the Red Sox however is at least the Red Sox fans cared every year. Winning means very little to most Cub fans. Going to a baseball game means getting to drink overpriced beers outside. They love that for some reason. If you to go to a Brewer game in Milwaukee, you will see more Cubs fans in the seats than Brewer fans even when they the Cubs are playing at home on the same day. Why? It is a short drive and they just like getting hammered in public. They know nothing about the game and know none of the players; names except the one whose jersey they are wearing. They just can't understand why Banks never seems to get to bat.

First, I love the story. Young team gets hot and makes a run. But I still can't forgive the city of Denver for John Elway and seriously my stomach can't take one more friggin' expansion team winning a title before Cleveland. No. No. No.

I certainly can't stomach another expansion team winning twice before Cleveland. I kind of like that even their own fans aren't picking them to win but c'mon name three Diamondbacks. Seriously, most American League (non-fantasy players) fans can name two.

You might find this hard to believe but I hate Philadelphia most of all. Yes, Yankee fans are arrogant jerks. Red Sox fans alter from whiny and oppressive. But Phillie fans are the biggest A-holes of all. I remember when Smarty Jones was going for the Triple Crown. It was a good story and I was all for it. The city of Philadelphia adopted the horse as a local franchise. Then before the race, there was a story about how Philadelphia fans are the longest suffering fans in the nation. WHAT??? Um, the Phillies won in 1983. I was ten. It was in my lifetime. How long suffering is that? Screw them. I turned on Smarty Jones and put a voodoo curse that he would be headed for the glue factory. The locals think it is cool that they booed Santa Claus and they cheer when opponents get injured. Most of the times, their teams come up short it is because their media and fans badgered the teams into choking. Screw Philadelphia.

So yes cheer for the Tribe. Concentrate on the positive but never forget there are valid reasons to hate everyone else.